


Spectrum of Autumn

by Poochiepies



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Dissociation, Friends to Lovers, I Tried, Light Angst, M/M, Panic Attacks, Pining Hanzo Shimada, Slow Burn, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2018-10-16 04:03:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 16,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10563306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poochiepies/pseuds/Poochiepies
Summary: Hanzo Shimada, ever priding himself on being a practical man, has done the most impractical thing of his life.He's fallen in love.With a man.With a co-worker.With his friend.With a damn cowboy.Watch Hanzo pine for and struggle to allow himself to be with Jesse McCree.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic ever. Criticism welcome.  
> Spacing is gonna be bad. Still figuring that out!

He could admit that he never expected to be in this position.

For a man always on edge, always planning and preparing for any impending event, Hanzo was startlingly out of his element.

Never before had he been faced with such an event, particularly without proper research.

 

"Big Shimada?"

The nickname made his ears burn pleasantly as he lifted dark eyes to meet the amber ones of the man speaking.

 _McCree_ , he thought,  _Jesse_.  _My love._

 

"Too much sake?" McCree prodded him with another question to which Hanzo replied with a small snort and a dismissive look out across the horizon. 

They sat together on the roof of the fourth complex hanger in Gibraltar Base, the sun having set not quite an hour past; slowly drinking themselves into a pleasant buzz.

 

Hanzo had been with Overwatch for just over four months now. Well, four months, one week, and two days, and in that span of time he had found himself a rare companionship with Jesse McCree. While the other members he worked with and lived alongside were perfectly polite and some even welcoming to him, only McCree had truly extended him his friendship. Hanzo understood this, of course; they all knew what he had done, who he had been. The proof walked among them daily for years, steam escaping his vents with every conversation, every laugh, and every smile hidden beneath a mask he was too uncomfortable to remove. 

 

" _It is easier to hide than to explain."_ Genji, his brother, had answered his prying, yet hesitant question about why he hardly ever removed the helmet and faceplate he wore. He'd been afraid to ask at first, wondering if Genji even  _could_ remove that part of his cybernetics, but luckily the younger Shimada had seemed to understand his brothers discomfort and quick glances and had offered a detailed list of what he could and could not remove.

 

"I should'a brung my guitar." Jesse spoke up again, not surprising as the man never remained quiet for more than a minute. "Didn't realize it'd be such a pretty night." He flashed that easy smile, lazy and perfect on his wide set mouth; eyes soft as honey in the ever-fading light. "Damn pretty company, too." He tipped the brim of his hat and Hanzo hastily sucked down another big swallow of sake. 

 

Hanzo, despite his agreed upon friendship with Jesse, could not otherwise understand where he stood with the man. He flirted often, but did he not flirt with others the same? Honey and darling were pet names thrown around, compliments to the women (and Lucio, for whatever reason) on their fashion choices, their hair; any physically pleasing trait really. So was Jesse flirting? Flirting back could be met with a playful banter that meant nothing, a distant refusing reply or, most terrifying for Hanzo to imagine, a deeper  _something_ between them. That couldn't happen, not between them; not with Hanzo.

He did not deserve that. He did not deserve this man.

 

As Jesse dug through his hip pocket for a cigar and lighter, Hanzo allowed himself to hungrily devour all the lovely shapes of him. Like looking at a picture one had seen a thousand times, he traced the brim of the cowboy's stupid hat down to his wide brow where shaggy, almost-touching eyebrows sat above the most beautiful eyes he'd ever seen; framed by lashes of dark brown. A perfect nose, wide mouth, and square jaw: a face one could picture in marble or stone if not for the wild beard framing his face. He didn't even trim it, no grooming; allowing the scruff to grow and become whatever it wished. It wasn't a bad look, not on Jesse. In fact, Hanzo loved it; ached to tug his fingertips through it and back to hair that fell into the faded red serape he always wore. Even the mans pokey ears made Hanzo's stomach flutter embarrassingly.

He knew no other name for his ailment. He was in love.

With a man.

With his co-worker.

With his friend.

With a damn cowboy.

 

"You smoke at all?" Jesse asked as he lit his cigar, nearly catching what Hanzo knew would have been a stare burning with longing. "Occurs to me I never did ask ya."

 

"On occasion." Hanzo replied, reaching across the space between them to take the cigar from McCree's lips and back to his own; taking a deep inhale and allowing it to curl from his nose in tendrils as he handed it back to him. "Only when drinking socially."

 

"So, every night then?" Jesse joked and Hanzo shared with him a small smirk as he shoved his shoulder playfully. 

 

"Only since you insisted on never allowing me a moments peace after dinner." He replied with a non-threatening glare. "You thoroughly invaded my space and demanded my company, bribing me with alcohol." He teased, feeling decidedly not like himself at how relaxed as he was. "You are quite the bad influence, cowboy."

 

"Aww, shucks." Jesse replied, grinning sheepishly. "You actually called me cowboy!"

Hanzo took another drink from his gourd before replying.

 

"I apologize." He said, "You are no boy." He nodded to himself. "Cowman."

 

Jesse's replying hearty guffaw warmed him as though the sun had just risen, deep to his bones and in his soul.

 

"That's what I love 'bout you, darlin'." McCree replied easily; all lazy smile and gentle eyes.

 

 _I love you,_ Hanzo thought desperately,  _and you can never know._

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> McCree's big metal hand can rip through metal like water.  
> I HAD to do something with that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be gone this weekend so I'm writing a few chapters now.  
> Find me over @ https://poochiepies.tumblr.com/

"Well that didn't work. What's next?"

The question, uttered so nonchalantly by Lucio in this dire situation, seemed almost comical.

"How are their reinforcements getting here so fast?" Hana, codename D.va, questioned from behind the glass of her MEKA; her shield taking another round of blasts as she held the tentative line they'd formed. A horde of Omnics held their own ground, steadily moving forward to break their line.

"There is likely a teleporter upstairs." Hanzo replied from his position, dropping down from the roof he had been perched upon. "Up there, on the balcony or behind."

"Well..uh.." Lucio beamed, gesturing to Hanzo with a flourish; music thumping eagerly around him. "You're the Shimada here. Ya'll can climb the walls like nothin', right?"

Hanzo's face darkened as the others looked to him with hopeful expressions.

 

"While it is true that I am capable of climbing most surfaces, it must have some sort of fingerhold." Hanzo explained, pointing up to the high wall in front of them. "This is one piece of large metal, crafted without flaw. I can't plant my fingers or feet anywhere to climb." He shook his head at the crestfallen looks. "One would have to drop down from the roof or jump to that height. As I have scouted the building and found no access to the rooftop, both are impossible."

The team had no time to remark as an explosion shook the ground around them as, in the distance, two buildings toppled onto one another in a cloud of dust.

 

"There's gotta be somethin'. We can't just stand 'round all day." McCree said from his position behind a half broken wall, reloading his Peacemaker. "Gonna run outta bullets 'ventually here." He chewed lightly on the cigar pinched between his teeth. "Meanwhile they keep just pilin' in."

 

"I have an idea." Hanzo announced, trying desperately not to blush as he ripped his gaze from the heavy metal hand Jesse sported. "I need your assistance, McCree."

 

"Sure, darlin'!" McCree headed toward him, holstering his revolver. Hanzo took hold of his shoulders and led him where he needed him, planting him there with a firm press. Jesse, baffled but trusting, waited for further instructions as the others fought on behind them.

 

"I need you to toss me." Hanzo explained as he slung his bow over his back to join his quiver. 

 

"Um, pardon?" Jesse asked, brow furrowing as he tipped his hat back.

 

"I cannot climb and I cannot jump down. Our only chance to get to the teleporter is if I can get up there. We will become overrun if we do not act." Hanzo explained as he began backing up. "I need you to catch me with your prosthetic hand and toss me as hard as you can upwards." He turned then and began jogging away.

 

"Yeah! Eastwood, man- you can rip metal shit like paper with that thing! It shouldn't be no problem." Lucio cheered them on, circling D.va and her MEKA as he boosted the rhythmic base of his healing music. "Ya'll make the best team."

Suddenly, Hanzo was running at the group; heading directly towards McCree. He braced himself and leapt, flying up and at Jesse's torso. He felt the press of a big, heavy hand on his bottom as he collided with the cold metal of the cowboy's chestplate and suddenly he was spinning.

Then flying.

The balcony that seemed so high above was rapidly approaching and Hanzo stretched his arms out; hands finding purpose at the bottom of the railing. He held himself and began scaling, climbing up and over before disappearing into the room to locate and destroy the teleporter. 

The team held their collective breaths, waiting and anxious as they heard the tell-tale sound of scatter-shots above.

Then Hanzo appeared, peering down at them.

 

"Teleporter destroyed." He informed them with a smug smirk. "Let us finish this." 

 

"Well, I'll be damned!" McCree grinned, opening his arms to him as he looked up. "Come on down, darlin'! I got ya!"

 

The team laughed, spirits returned, as they pushed forward into the crowd of now dwindling omnics; pretending to not notice the blush upon a certain Shimada's cheeks as he leapt into the arms of the cowboy.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We're pretty good together." McCree offered up as he sat down, buckling himself into the transport. Hanzo sat beside him, a bandage upon his shoulder but otherwise unscathed as he turned to look at him. The mission had succeeded after all.

"We do work well together, yes." Hanzo agreed, nodding. "Your protesthic certainly was useful."

"You sayin' I was  _handy_?" McCree joked with a big grin as he flexed his silver fingers, causing Hanzo to roll his eyes at the pun. "But I mean it." McCree added, sobering some. "We're good together, Han." He smiled his lazy smile. "Great partners."

Hanzo did not even attempt to fight the rapid, hopeful flutter of his heart; instead choosing to squash the feeling entirely. He replied only with a nod before closing his eyes and turning his head aside to feign sleep.

 _Another reason you do not deserve him,_ Hanzo thoughts filled his mind like heavy, dark clouds.  _You are a coward._


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo and Genji get into a fight.  
> McCree is an excellent distration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to everyone who have given me kudo's and comments!  
> Please keep it up! <3  
> Find me over @ https://poochiepies.tumblr.com/

"-And you have not changed." Hanzo finished the sentence with a lip curl, snarling as he threw his bow over his back and hurried away. The usual gentle taps of his metallic feet resounded throughout the corridor as he exited the hydroponics complex; heading nowhere in particular with hurried, angry movement.

Wearing a scowl like death itself, Hanzo shouldered past a startled Angela Ziegler and into the kitchen.

"Oh hey there, darlin'! I bet you smelled your way in'ta the room." McCree greeted him, chuckling to himself as he turned to look at him. "Oh. You alright?" He questioned upon seeing Hanzo's stormy expression; thick brows drawn down over dark eyes.

"Yes." Hanzo replied quickly, harshly. A pause. "No." 

He sat heavily in a nearby chair, back hunched now that he set elbows upon knees. His fingers traced the trimmed hair of his beard as he stared off.

"You wanna talk 'bout it?" McCree asked softly as he toweled off his hands, leaning back against the stove as he watched him. "I know I'm big on talkin' all the time but I do got good listenin' ears."

He waited for a response.

And then he waited more.

He was about to repeat him, unsure of whether or not Hanzo had heard him through his own thoughts, when the archer sat up straighter.

"Genji and I had a..disagreement." He offered solemnly. He shifted his metal soles across the floor carefully, studying the pattern upon his own hakama. "It has been the first since...since.." He struggled.

"Since you joined." McCree finished for him, understanding why he looked so haunted. "It was bound to happen 'ventually, Han. I know that don't make it no better, but 'least all limbs are accounted for, right?"

Hanzo remained silent, slowly squeezing his eyes closed. He stood suddenly, keeping his gaze downcast.

"I apologize for burdening you with this." He bowed curtly. "I will leave you to focus."

"Hey! Wait- hold up now, Han!" McCree challenged immediately, raising his hands as he strode toward him.

 _Swagger,_ Hanzo realized with a sudden hunger.  _The man swaggers._

"Why don't ya stay and help me out?" His grin, lazy and welcoming across that deliciously wide mouth, weakened Hanzo deep inside. "I could use some help cuttin' them onions."

Hanzo snorted, stuffing his smirk.

"What?" McCree asked, but Hanzo only shook his head; covering his face with his hand.

"What, dammit?" He asked, the grin falling as he grew defensive.

"Noth-" Hanzo began to laugh half-way through the word, unable to help himself as he covered his face to muffle the sounds of mirth. The deep timbre rumbled out of him and filled the quiet room and McCree's grin returned quickly at the sound.

"I dunno what I did, but I'm damn glad it made ya laugh." He reached up, attempting to tip a hat that he had left in his room.

" _Un-yun_ s." Hanzo managed to say between giggles.

"Un..Oh." The gunslinger rolled his eyes, chuckling to himself now. "You makin' fun of the way I talk there, Mr. Shimada?"

"I would never." Hanzo managed as he calmed, eyes still shining with mirth as he looked up to him. "I demand an apology for such an accusation." He sniffed.

"Uh huh." McCree drawled, raising his brow at him. "You gonna cut the  _un-yuns_ or not?" He demanded as he moved back to the simmering pot on the stove.

Heaving a grand sigh as though it was a great undertaking, Hanzo deposited his bow and quiver upon the table and moved to wash his hands.

" _Un-yuns."_

Hanzo dodged just in time to avoid the oven mitt McCree had thrown at the back of his head; laughing all the while.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still reeling with his argument with Genji, Hanzo allows McCree to comfort him.  
> The cowboy is happy to oblige.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who has left comments and kudo's! I so appreciate it!  
> Good to know I'm not writing this for just myself :)  
> say hi over to me @ https://poochiepies.tumblr.com/

Silence.

Generally regarded as being uncomfortable, silence was actually a comforting thing between the two of them; particularly as they sat together sharing a late dinner Jesse had made for the pair.

 _Jesse._ Hanzo considered as he took another bite of his burrito.  _When did he become Jesse? When did my heart decide McCree wasn't enough?_

"So you gonna tell me what you and Genji had words over?" 

Jesse's question pulled Hanzo from his thoughts, though he did not react as he carefully chewed his burrito.

"I doubt you would enjoy knowing." He finally replied after swallowing, turning to look at the gunslinger. "You are best friends and you and I, new friends. I would not sully that needlessly."

"So ya'll fought over the uh..well, I'm gonna call it 'The Incident'." McCree nodded as he studied the setting sun over Gibraltar's raised walls. 

Hanzo did not reply, instead deciding that that in itself was enough of an answer.

"Hm, " came McCree's reply, a consideration before he continued speaking. "Ya know, I saw Genji when he first got here- when he was all meat and tubes and-"

"Stop!" Hanzo spat, growling before he moved to stand.

"No, wait." McCree reached up, gripping the archer's wrist with his big metal hand; holding him just firm enough to not allow a flighty escape. "I'm tryin' to say somethin'."

"I do not want to hear it!" He replied, heart aching as misery etched his face. He struggled to pull his wrist free but he was only man and the limb that held him hydraulic and steel.

"Listen, Han.." McCree squeezed his wrist just enough to hold his attention as he tilted his chin back in an attempt to glimpse the man beneath his bangs; shadows hiding what they did not. "I'm sayin' I've seen the worst thing you ever did, honey."

 _Soft as silk. Sweet as honey._ Hanzo's everything betrayed him. Heart thumping as his body responded to the brutish hold on his person.  _So damn strong._

"-And since I done seen the worst of it, the worst of  **you** , you ain't gotta run away no more." McCree finished what he had been saying, gently releasing the thick wrist he had held captive.

Hanzo did not move. 

He did not even breathe.

"Han..?" McCree questioned carefully, moving up to his knees to stand properly. "Hey.." He reached out his flesh hand, for what he did not know- hadn't planned that far. Hanzo turned his head away and in the fading light the wet tracks upon his cheeks glimmered over pale olive cheeks. "Oh honeybee." 

Hanzo stiffened considerably as Jesse reached for him, raising his hands up to defend himself; to push McCree away. But as the thick ( _so thick)_ arms wrapped about him and the inferno of warmth and compassion that just was McCree surrounded him and folded him close, Hanzo foundered.

Ten years of self-loathing and loneliness burst from him in a sob so ragged one might mistake it as a cry of death, and then he was falling into Jesse's arms as though he belonged there.

"I got you, sweetpea. Yeah, I know." McCree cooed down to him through the ridiculously loud sobs Hanzo sought to control, resting his chin upon the inky strands of Hanzo's crown as he swayed them ever so slightly side to side. "Let it out. I got ya." He repeated.

It took several minutes for Hanzo to calm down enough to control even the wracked, shouting sobs he had been unleashing and twice as long as that before he was able to do more than lean weakly forward against McCree's now wet shirt and cry silently. The gunslinger, much to Hanzo's comfort and chagrin, continued to comfort him through the whole ordeal.

"I...apologize." He finally managed to say after clearing his throat six times, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand as he stepped out of the cowboy's arms. McCree seemed almost reluctant to release him and Hanzo marveled at how kind he was. "I should not h-"

"Hush." McCree interrupted him, waving his hand dismissively. "Listen, you don't 'pologize for that. You never gotta say sorry for hurtin'." He nodded, a determined set to his jaw even as his fawn eyes sent warmth through Hanzo. "You never gotta say sorry for tryin' to heal neither." He smiled then- not the usual lazy smile but something more genuine that touched Hanzo's heart. "I'll be here for you, Han, even if you ain't gonna be there for yourself."

Hanzo considered him for a long moment, the silence stretching between them once more before he finally a managed a slight smile.

"Even if I am not there for myself?" The archer teased, feeling lighter than he had in years; though the burden of his guilt and shame still raged deep. "How can I not be there for myself? I  _am_ me."

"Ah Hell, you know what I meant! C'mon, Big Shimada!" McCree shifted from foot to foot as he whined. "You only tease me. Can't tell if ya like me or hate me." He grumbled in jest as he sat back down, almost as though he hadn't been cradling a grown man who had soaked his shirt with tears, before offering a fat burrito up to Hanzo like a baton.

Hanzo murmured a sound something like 'nhm' before he also resumed sitting, taking the offered burrito to continue watching the horizon.

 _I love you._ __Hanzo answered silently, glancing at the strong, gorgeous profile that was his cowboy friend. _Thank you._


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Genji helps his repressed big brother.  
> Hanzo's got a hard past. Sometimes it creeps up.  
> Has anyone noticed I make the summary's innuendo's?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to be gone for so long! Life stuff? I'm back to writing often! Please stick with me!  
> TW: Panic attack  
> Dissociation

"No, _ni-san_ , listen- okay, it's like- okay." Genji prattled on to Hanzo as they walked through the streets of Gibraltar. 

Surprisingly not far from Overwatch new HQ, a decently sized town sat among the cresting waves and sharp cliff faces sporting every typical and some exotic assortments of whatever one might need. Which is why Hanzo had come down from the lofty perch of their base. He needed tea and sake. And maybe some other more  _personal_ items he was not entirely comfortable with anyone else buying for him, but of course Genji had caught him as he registered his intent to visit with Winston and had invited himself along.

" _Ni-sannn_ ," Genji whined, gesturing in front of himself. "Are you even listening? You're not, are you? You're humming Bach in your head again, aren't you?" He tapped his faceplate. "Is it McCree?"

"What?" Hanzo blurted immediately, nearly stumbling over a crack in the sidewalk they shared before righting himself with some indignation. "What?" He repeated, albeit more angrily as Genji snickered beside him. Truthfully, he hadn't been listening to Genii since they'd left the Watchpoint. He simply wasn't interested in what video games Genji had stayed up all night playing with Hana or Lucio, or their pranks on the old dwarf engineer whose name he would never, ever be able to pronounce properly; or even their disgusting 'food wars' as his brother referred to them. More like a race to see who develops food poisoning first. 

"You're so obvious!" Genji chortled, as though he wasn't making Hanzo feel like turning around and leaving this very instant. "McCree this, McCree that! You've got the hots-"

He didn't finish his statement- Hanzo didn't allow him to as he was physically lifted and pushed into an alleyway. Hanzo manhandled him down by a large, industrial dumpster and was certain his face was set in a firm, murderous scowl as Genji's robotic right hand raised to grasp his brothers wrist. 

When did he grab at Genji's throat? Hanzo stepped back, withdrawing into himself with deep shame. 

"I-" Hanzo croaked, panicking suddenly. He looked to Genji with frightened eyes, touching his own throat as he felt the constriction starting. "I'm so- I'm- you- I nearly..." 

"Ni-san, Hanzo, it's okay." Genji cooed softly to him beneath the mask, reaching forward to offer himself to his brother for comfort, arms spread wide in welcome and after a long moment, Hanzo accepted by shuffling into his arms. "I am sorry. I should not have teased you for your affections." He truly did sound mournful as he held the trembling, slightly taller man against him.

"I-" Hanzo attempted, cut off by Genji's hiss to be silent. 

They stood there together in that alleyway, the sky heavy with clouds, for quite some time; waiting for the worst to be over.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"You really like him." 

A statement, not a question, directed to Hanzo as he stared blankly at the wall across from them. They still stood in the alley, sitting together on a small pile of cardboard boxes. Genji knocked his knee into Hanzo's, drawing his attention as the older man turned to look at the blank, expressionless faceplate.

"He can't know." He said quickly, "You cannot tell him."

"Of course not." Genji scoffed, sounding a bit annoyed. "Then you might actually have a shot at being happy and why would you want that?"

"Genji-"

"No. You got to have your moment and now I get to have mine." Genji cut in, voice harder than usual and though Hanzo could not see his face, he knew he was being entirely serious. 

He fell silent.

"What's so wrong with being happy?" Genji started and Hanzo narrowed his eyes. "No, don't look at me like that, come on. What's done is done and you are forgiven. Finding someone to love you isn't a crime of morality at this point." Hanzo looked away at that and his brother gently nudged his shoulder. " _Oni-chan_ -" he whined, just as he had done when they were boys to get his way.

Hanzo still fell for it.

"McCree does not feel in that manner for me. He has been welcoming, we are friends, and nothing more." Hanzo replied curtly.

"You could be, though. More." Genji persisted.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why? Why be more? Why risk that?" Hanzo shook his head, his dissociating lifting enough for him to feel properly again. "What gain is there? I confess, he does not feel the same and the single friendship I have had my  _whole life_ is ruined."

"Or, and follow me here, he feels the same and you guys get married and I get to be the best uncle in the world. That could happen, too." Genji countered, persisting as Hanzo scoffed. "No, seriously Hanzo. It would make me so happy." 

This has Hanzo's attention, turning to look at him more seriously now.

"My brother, my big brother, who hasn't ever got to just love someone with all of himself-" Hanzo is embarrassed already, "freely being with my best friend? The greatest guy I've ever met? Are you serious?" Genji threw out his hands, shaking them. "I want so badly for you to be happy, brother. I want you to find peace, as I have, and if you could find that in McCree, is it not worth the risk?"

Hanzo remained quiet for a while, digesting his word as he picked at a thread on his heavy brown cargo pants. 

"And if you say you're not worthy or something, I'm going to put you in that dumpster." Genji threatened and Hanzo blanched as he looked at him askew. "I'm stronger than you now and I can do it." 

Hanzo had the impression Genji was smiling.

Dammit, he was most likely grinning.

"Come." Hanzo had settled for replying instead, standing up and brushing himself off as he glanced down the alley. "We've still shopping to do and have wasted a great deal of the day." He moved a few steps and was caught on the shoulder, turning his head to look back at Genji where he held him. 

"Hanzo, promise me you will consider my words." He said, raising his other hand in a sign of peace. "You need not act on them, but please consider them carefully. This is about you yes, but it is also about McCree. Maybe making decisions like that should include him." After a small nod of acceptance, he released Hanzo's shoulder. "Good! Now let's go check out that booth with all the omnic nudies! They have a article this month about Shura and they always dresses like the Shambali. Master Zen- ah! Stop! You shouldn't hit your little brother just because you're jealou- Ah! Stop it!" Another firm, open-handed slap on his arm, a smile growing on Hanzo's face. "That's it." Genji declared. "You're going in the dumpster."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Hey. You have fun today?"

Hanzo turned to look at McCree as he entered onto the roof. He was surprised to see he had removed his belt buckle, chestplate, and serape; looking comfortable in only his jeans, a brown plaid shirt, boots, and of course, his stupid hat. Hanzo wanted to devour him, drag him into a nest and ravish him to bonelessness before curling upon him like a greedy dragon protecting it's hoard. He felt the dragons beneath his skin rumble their approval, enjoying the idea as much as he did.

"He did not throw me in a dumpster. Whatever else he said, that is not true." Hanzo replied with an eye roll that got McCree chuckling as he settled in to sit next to Hanzo. Their thighs touched and Hanzo made to move but stopped as McCree reached over to pluck the gourd from his hand. 

"He did mention somethin' 'bout that, but I figured he wouldn't be standin' there able to tell me nothin' if he did." McCree finally said after a long drink, passing it back. "This mission done kicked my ass." He sighed, already ready to do all the talking. Hanzo listened, eyes downcast or watching the distance as he rambled on. Mission details, wrong information, and a lot of gunfire; nothing sounded reassuring to him.

"Then everythin' just went tits up-" Hanzo snorted at that, "and now I'm lookin' at brawlin' with what could'a been Reinhardt's drug dealin' son and its like, man, it was just come recon and now this monster's gonna knock my block off." McCree continued, tilting his head back against the buildings exterior wall. "And then I got to thinkin', ya know, 'bout you." 

Hanzo's skin prickled, primed on alert; ready to run.

"And I thought, sure would be a shame if I go and make you all socialable and talkin' to people and then up and die. I'm sure ya'd be fine, but thinkin' 'bout you losin' somethin' else, " McCree shrugged, "kinda broke my heart a little bit." 

Hanzo remained silent, staring unseeingly into the cliff face as his heart tried to beat itself out of existence.

"I know..if somethin' ever happened to you..." McCree seemed to be considering his words carefully, studying the horizon as well before Hanzo felt the warmth of his gaze upon him. He fell silent for a moment and Hanzo nearly began praying for death by the time he finished his thought. "I just don't know what I'd do." He laughed abruptly before taking the gourd back from Hanzo's firmly grasping fist. "Besides, I'm pretty sure I owe you 'bout three of these by now."

And then McCree went on to explain how he'd managed to out-wit the bruiser and escape with correct intel. Hanzo wasn't listening anymore.

_Genji, Hanzo's thoughts raced as fast as his heart had been, you little shit._


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> McCree's on a mission  
> Can Hanzo survive it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long distance relationship-type chapter. Huehue
> 
> Don't forget you can chat me up over on tumblr @ https://poochiepies.tumblr.com/

If his phone wasn't mandatory and issued by Overwatch, Hanzo would have smashed it against the wall.

After drinking more than was wise and struggling for hours to sleep, he had barely dosed off when his phone had chimed happily at him from the nightstand next to his bed.

He had checked, of course, to ensure it wasn't some emergency mission from Winston; wondering if some new Talon threat had appeared but instead was met with the blurry smudges of a text.

Wiping his eyes with his thumb, he closed one and tried to focus on the words.

 

_**Agent McCree: 05:41** _

Hey darling. Figured you'd be waking up soon.

 

Hanzo frowned at his phone as he checked the time and realized it was nearly dawn, trying to pull his sluggish brain from a fog as he rolled onto his back. After nearly dropping it on his face, he managed to drowsily type out a reply.

 

**_Me: 05:43_ **

Yes. And?

 

He rested the phone on his bare chest then, closing his eyes as he waited for the reply.

Another chime roused him from a what he imagined had been a short slumber and with less than graceful hands and squinting eyes, he checked the screen with a simple press on the side.

 

_**Agent McCree: 06:11** _

I'm all set up for recon and now just wasting time until the target arrives.

 

Another message

_**Agent McCree: 06:11** _

Was hoping maybe you'd have a some time to spare for little old me

 

Hanzo's brow furrowed as he considered the message before sitting up on an elbow and then up fully as he tapped out a reply.

 

_**Me: 06:12** _

Did you need something?

 

_**Agent McCree: 06:12** _

Just the pleasure of your company

**_Agent McCree: 06:12_ **

Are you alone?

**_Agent McCree: 06:12_ **

Can I call you?

_**Agent McCree: 06:12** _

Hanzo?

 

And then his phone was ringing, startling him so that he dropped it on his lap. Swearing softly in Japanese, he picked it up and hastily answered it.

"McCree?" Hanzo spoke into the receiver, noting his voice was haggard and deep, definitely sleep heavy.

"Han? Damn. Did I wake you up? Sorry. I'll let ya catch some more sheep-" McCree started to say but Hanzo interrupted, clearing his throat as he waved his hand for no one to see.

"No. I need to be awake now. It is fine. What did you require?"

"Uh well, nothin' really." McCree replied, his chuckle sheepish. "I just wanted to talk to ya, is all. Didn't get to drink with my buddy last night and figured I'd call and catch up."

It occurred to Hanzo then why the text messages had seemed so bizarre. McCree's accent wasn't typed- autocorrect took care of any lazy spellings.

"Maybe you did a little bit catchin' up for me?" McCree chuckled. "Shoot. You're always up this early, trainin' or meditatin' or makin' tea with your fancy leaves. Didn't think I'd wake you."

"It is fine, truly." Hanzo replied as he stifled a yawn before settling back against his headboard. He stared ahead at the wall across from his bed, blinking sleepily

Silence stretched.

 

"So anyhow, yeah. Middle of dinner and Winston's all 'get your shit and get out." McCree began to speak and Hanzo finally slid out of the warm comfort of his bed, placing his phone down carefully and muting it as well as placing it on speaker before he stretched loudly. "Well, not really, ya know. Winston don't talk like that but that's basically what he did." Hanzo touched his toes then squatted, warming up his body as he listened. "And then I'm takin' a hypertrain out here to Bumfuck, Oklahoma and waitin' on somebody that might be workin' with Talon, 'cept Winston waits till I get here to mention he ain't even gonna be here till tomorrow."

Hanzo huffed sympathetically before remembering McCree could not hear him. Unmuting the phone, he lifted it to his mouth as he headed into the bathroom.

"How dull." He replied. "You must be positively dying."

If McCree got his sarcasm, he certainly didn't show it.

"Right? I am." He almost whined as Hanzo resumed mute and placed the phone on the sink. He used the bathroom, brushed his teeth, washed his face, and was beginning to trim his beard before the cowboy stopped talking long enough to softly ask: "Han? You there? Fall asleep, darlin'?"

 _You're too sweet_ , Hanzo contemplated as he picked up his phone to turn off the mute function, _Worrying for me like this._

"I am here." He answered as he turned his head side to side to ensure his beard was even throughout.

"Did ya fall asleep? I can leave you be if'n you need more sleep." came McCree's quick reply.

"No. I was readying myself for the day. I am listening, however."

"Ah." McCree fell silent, as if he was considering something carefully. "Soooo, you naked?"

Hanzo's face flushed red the same time McCree's playful laughter filled the bathroom, causing the archer to scowl.

"Sorry. Sorry. I gotta mess with ya. Didn't get to last night. Keepin' you humble, you understand." McCree teased. "Not that there's much to be humble 'bout, really."

Hanzo returned to his living quarters and set upon making tea on his hot plate as McCree droned on about the boring ride there, the boring hotel he was staying in, and his overall boredom at the mission thus far.

"I guess I done took 'nough of your time. You probably gonna crawl outta'ya skin soon if I don't let ya get to trainin'." He finally after several more minutes. Hanzo had dressed in his workout clothing by this point, ready, but was disappointed the call was ending.

"No. Well, yes. I am readying to train." Hanzo paused. "But you may call me later," He rushed on, "Later, I mean, after I've trained. Before lunch." Was that too soon? "Or after. None of it matters to me." Liar. He wanted to smother himself in a pillow to stop his own fumbling. "If you still find yourself struggling with the boredom." 

"Yer a real peach, honeybee." McCree drawled, his voice deeper than before as he leaned into the phone. Hanzo shivered. "I'll call ya back in just a bit then. Take care now." 

_Click_

Hanzo sighed as he pocketed his phone and headed to the gym.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Do not tease! I was barely more than a child!" Hanzo protested between belly-shaking laughter, covering his face as he attempted to contain a snort.

"You were fourteen! I was runnin' drugs and counterfeitin' at that age! You can't fuckin' tell me you didn't know how to boil eggs!" McCree laughed almost hysterically through the speaker of his phone where it sat upon his knee.

"I never had-we had servants and a personal chef and I was-" Hanzo ducked his head, hiding his smile from no one, "I was so stupid." He giggled helplessly and heard a soft sigh from the other side of the call between McCree's chuckles.

"You were cute then and yer cute now." He said as the laughter died down.

Hanzo slid down to lie upon his bed further, glancing at the time on his phone before he placed it on his chest as his eyebrows raised. "It is twenty-three hundred hours already."

McCree answered him with a soft whistle of surprise.

"Guess I done chatted your head off all day. Sorry, Hanzo." Hanzo didn't think he sounded very apologetic. "But I damn sure loved talkin' to you."

Silence sat between them and Hanzo nearly bit through his lip when McCree spoke up suddenly.

"We should do this. More, you know."

"We talk after dinner every night, McCree." Hanzo snorted.

"No. I mean like, call and messagin' each other." He replied and Hanzo shifted somewhat as he listened. "You're more open like this, Han. Like its easier for ya to be, ya know, you." Hanzo considered his words as he continued. " 'Sides, we only talk after dinner. I wanna do it more. I wanna be with you more."

Hanzo suddenly felt sick. He might vomit.

"Can we?" McCree asked softly and the archer could hear the caution in his voice, causing his own voice to shake in a reply. 

"If it..would please you."

"It'd make me happy." Came the sweet drawl he cherished.

"Do I-" Hanzo bit back the words, immediately regretting what he was going to ask; chastising himself mentally for blurting something without a single thought of the consequences.

"You do." McCree's breathy reply came, sending a bolt through Hanzo that stopped him in his tracks. "Ya make me happy, Hanzo."

 

Silence again

 

"I..I have to go." Hanzo hurriedly announced and hung up in the middle of McCree making some kind of sound of protest. He dropped his phone as though it may hurt him and then slid to the edge of his bed. Panic and dread overwhelmed him as he stared it, sight unseeing.

It chimed with a new message.

He stared it for some time, listening to it chime twice more before it fell silent. Only then did he move to check what had been sent; curiosity gnawing at him.

 

_**Agent McCree: 01:18** _

I didn't mean to scare you

 

 _This is wrong,_ Hanzo thought as his eyes scanned the messages.

 

_**Agent McCree: 01:31** _

I'm sorry. You don't have to do anything for me. I didn't mean to push

 

_I've made him feel guilty. A monster- I am a monster._

 

_**Agent McCree: 01:33** _

I hope we can talk when I get back.

 

Hanzo dropped his phone and turned to bury his face in his messy blankets, sick and hurting; hating himself for his own foolishness.

"I am sorry." He spoke to no one as he bowed over himself. "I am so sorry."

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> McCree returns.  
> Things are awkward  
> Hanzo makes a move unintentionally.  
> Things get better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to really thank everyone for all of their support!  
> Each comment drives me to write more!
> 
> If you've got a tumblr, add me! https://poochiepies.tumblr.com/

Nine days of radio silence, considering how their last conversation went, had left Hanzo downright hateful.

His anxiety had changed to irritability, followed by a period of brooding before he'd become snappish at literally everyone; to the point that Genji was acting as a barrier for the others residing with the cantankerous archer.

Of course, none of this had been to blame on McCree. Hanzo had only done it to himself by taking the route of cowardice, knowing that the gunslinger wouldn't be able to contact anyone unless there were an emergency until his return. 

So when Winston informed the other's that McCree had departed the United States and was on a flight back to Gibraltar, Hanzo wasn't surprised his phone hadn't made a sound.

That is until Genji rounded on him in the gym.

" _Why aren't you replying to Jesse_?" He demanded in Japanese, waving his own phone in his face. " _He said you are not replying to his messages_." He poked the archer in his sweat-soaked chest before shaking his hand with a sound of disgust. _"I don't want to be in the middle_." He paused just long enough for Hanzo to dig in his pocket for his phone before correcting, " _Well, actually, I do want to be in the middle but I don't think you want me to so I am trying to be supportive._ " 

Hanzo checked his phone and found, much to his chagrin, that it was powered off.

His blanched before squeezing his eyes shut in mortification.

" _What?_ " Genji needled.

" _I had it turned off._ " Hanzo replied darkly, also in Japanese.

" _What?! Why? How long-_ "

" _Yesterday morning_." Hanzo groaned and Genji made a strangled sound. " _No one messages me but you and him! And since we live together I just-_ " He shrugged at Genji's incredulous look. " _I became tired of staring at it! So I turned it off for a moment of peace and_ -"

The phone in question chimed within Hanzos fist and he quickly checked. More than a dozen missed messages from McCree, spanning over three hours spammed across the screen, the damn thing chiming again and again in the large space. Already Hana and Satya had been looking their way as they spoke hurriedly in their language, but now he'd also attracted the attention of Angela in the middle of her  ~~torture~~ exercise routine for the resident junkers.

"We're talking about who'd we fuck, marry, kill." Genji announced to the other's as he turned to them, gathering their attention as Hanzo wiped down the equipment and collected his towel. "I feel like Angela knows how to care for me best, but Reinhardt has massive sweaters I can nest in so the marry one is difficult for me." 

Hanzo took the chance, making a mental note to thank Genji later, to leave.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back in his own quarters, Hanzo had barely closed the door before he'd read through the messages. He'd only managed to read two, both updates on his departure and change to a hyper train, before a knock sounded on the door his back was against. 

He almost yelped with surprise, fumbling with his phone before he turned to open the door with a fierce scowl.

"Howdy." McCree greeted him with a forced grin; sadness and uncertainty etched in the soft brown of his eyes. "You weren't respondin' so I know you probably don't wanna talk to me, but I- well, I just wanted to see ya." He shrugged, hooking his thumbs in the anterior pockets of his jeans. "You look good." A pause. "I'll leave ya be. You'll know where to find me." A nod of his head and then the cowboy was off, whistling softly as he headed down the hallway and disappeared around a corner.

It took Hanzo a few grand seconds of standing there, door open, before he realized he hadn't said a damn thing. Closing the door quietly, he looked down at his phone; scrolling to the bottom of the messages McCree had sent him.

 

_**Agent McCree: 18:48** _

Hope to see you there tonight darling

 

Hanzo frowned at the message, confused before he scrolled back up to read what had come previously.

 

_**Agent McCree:  18:22** _

Be arriving in an twenty and wanna see you

_**Agent McCree: 18:22** _

Let's meet by the big maple outside out there by Hanger 6

The red one

I'll bring drinks

 

And suddenly Hanzo was in the shower, scrubbing the sweat from his body and nearly ripping his hair out in a rush to wash it. McCree had seen him sweaty and gross plenty of times, but this felt different. Did McCree even want to still see him? Wiping bubbles from his brow and eyes, he hastily dried off one hand to reach outside of the shower to tap him out a message.

 

_**Me: 19:07** _

Beneath the tree in twenty

 

Rushing back into the shower to finish his chore, he just as quickly brushed his teeth as he did a hopping-dance into hakama. After making himself a little more gussied up than could be called casual, he took a deep breath and left.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

McCree stood beneath the towering red tree already, his back turned to Hanzo as he studied the maple; hat tipped back and smoke softly disappearing into the leaves above from a lit cigarillo held by his teeth. He remove it abruptly and snuffed it out beneath his boot. 

Hanzo tried very hard not to gulp as his steps slowly carried him to the vision awaiting him. He was purposefully quiet to sneak up on him, studying his form and the thick bottle loosely clenched in his metal hand.

Sake.

He'd bought sake? Black Pine- Hanzo's favorite. His heart filled to bursting just before McCree turned to him.

Hanzo lowered his eyes to the earth, afraid to meet the gunslinger's gaze and for a beat there was silence.

"Peace offerin'?" McCree asked quietly, his voice and the cold breeze coming off the ocean below causing him to shiver.

He looked up then, reaching forward to take the offered bottle from his outstretched hand, only to be caught by his wrist and pulled closer.

"Do you like me, Han?" He asked quietly as he pulled Hanzo forward until the tips of their footwear met. "If damn near anybody else but me pulled you like this, you'd kick their ass." His gloved hand released his wrist and settled on his waist instead; Hanzo still refused to look up and instead studied the faded pattern on his serape as it covered his chest. "But I think..I thought you liked me." He squeezed slightly. "I thought we had somethin' more." 

Hanzo did look up at that and the sadness found in McCree's fawn eyes made him regret ever existing in the first place.

"I..." He struggled, battling internally.

"Do you like me, Han?" He asked again, hold gentle enough for him to escape should Hanzo try. "'Cause I sure do like you."

Hanzo made a sound like he was choking.

"And I'd really like to be with you, sugar." McCree added on and Hanzo felt momentarily dizzy; reaching hands forward to rest them on his chestplate.

"And I want us to be together, more than friends. And I ain't wanted that in a long damn time- and never been this bad." He released Hanzo then, much to the archer's disappointment, but did not step away. "But we're too old for games and waitin' and seein'. If you ain't into me, tell me. Please." His voice was softer than Hanzo had ever heard it. "Just tell me, please. Please." He sounded like his heart was breaking right there with every soft utterance. "I can't take not knowin'. I'm crazy 'bout you, Hanz-" 

Hanzo was in his arms then, nestling his face in the warm leftmost side of his neck; his own arms encircling tightly about McCree's broad back in a vice grip. 

He positively felt the tension abandon both their shoulders, McCree hesitantly embracing Hanzo as well with his cheek turned to rest upon the crown of his dark head.

 

They stood there for quiet some time, silently holding one another as though they were touch-starved and perhaps one of them was but it did not matter. Nothing mattered but how wonderful leather and cigar smoke and what Hanzo assumed was gun oil smelt on the man holding him. 

And then McCree started speaking.

"You make me shake like a baby lamb sometimes." McCree confessed softly against Hanzo's temple, whispering just loud enough to be heard. "Wanna kiss you so bad, hold you so damn tight. Everytime you laugh, I feel all jelly in my knees and like I can't control nothin'." Hanzo tipped his head back, eyes closed as warm breath tickled the soft fanning white hair in front of his ears. "And, ya know what's plum crazy? I love it." Hanzo's chest tightened. "I love feelin' helpless and crazy and jelly-like with you. I like bein' jealous and worried and thinkin' 'bout you all the time and I-"

Hanzo reached up and placed the flat of his fingertips to McCree's lips, silencing him as he looked up to him finally. 

McCree kissed them, holding his gaze as he arms pulled him snug to his body. And then Hanzo leaned up and kissed the other side of his own fingers; almost a kiss. He felt McCree smile and removed his fingers before burying his face back into his neck.

"You like me, Hanzo." McCree crooned, preening. "Hanzo likes McCree."

"I may change my mind yet." Hanzo teased-flirted before moving, slipping out of his reluctant embrace before turning around. He settled his back to McCree's chest and faced the sunset, rumbling softly in his chest when the cowboy eagerly resumed his hold from behind. A chin on his head momentarily annoyed him, simply because he did not enjoy being reminded he was quite small in comparison; but the beautiful golds and pinks of the setting sun warmed and awed him almost as much as the living furnace that cradled him.

 _Cradled,_ he thought.  _Yes. Cradling. As though I am worth something._

He turned his head slightly, tilting it back to look up at McCree. Their eyes met before Hanzo saw the gunslinger lean down and then he closed his own, heels leaving the soft ground as he raised to meet his lips. Their first kiss.

_If he believes it, perhaps I am._

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo and McCree cross into new territory  
> but they're doing it together.  
> But how to tell Genji?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be writing this chapter and however many other chapter's with some of McCree's POV.  
> I know I have been writing entirely through Hanzo's eyes, but I think its good to get both sides.
> 
> Things only pick up from here.  
> I know it's been a bit of a slow read up to this point, but I'm really getting it now.

Jesse had never really considered Hanzo to be an affectionate man. If he was being totally honest, Hanzo was probably the most emotionally detached person he had ever met. He knew that this wasn't the archer's fault, of course; a life time of being groomed to be a pretty, smart mouthpiece had left him with some serious issues concerning how to feel.

So one could imagine his surprise when Hanzo greeted him the next morning with a soft embrace, his face consequently burying into McCree's chest because of their height difference.

"Well good mornin' to you too, baby." Jesse had said, voice still thick with sleep as he eagerly returned the embrace in the small space of the kitchen. "You feelin' in a good mood today? Sleep well?"

Hanzo had tipped his head back, brow furrowed to create that little crease between his eyebrows (that McCree just wanted to kiss every time it appeared) as he studied Jesse before he replied, "I am only glad to see you." 

"As long as you greet me like in the mornins', I ain't ever gonna complain." came Jesse's reply as he bent down to press a soft kiss to his forehead. "You feelin' like breakfast?" A nod. "Was gonna make some nice bacon, eggs, and maybe some pancakes.." Hanzo's face instantly changed, his eyes becoming wide and pleading. "For us." McCree finished saying and Hanzo seemed content to step back and allow him room to work now that he'd gotten what he wanted. McCree was pleased to be used.

As Jesse moved back to the stove and began firing it up, Hanzo sat at the counter bar and pulled his phone out of the sweatpants he wore. 

"So baby-"

"Jesse, I-"

They both laughed, startled and nervous.

"I'm sorry, sugar. I do most of the talkin'. You do on ahead." Jesse encouraged as he moved about the kitchen, trying to dampen down the nerves in his stomach.

Was Hanzo going to say it was a mistake? What if Jesse had thought last night's kiss was more than it was? What if only Jesse considered them to be dating? His poor heart couldn't take any of those.

 

"I am wondering who you believe should tell Genji we are together." Hanzo finally said after Jesse nearly had an anxiety attack brought on by his own mind. "I realize we should inform him before the other's-" Jesse set down his bowl of batter and turned to Hanzo with a spreading grin, "- and I am simply not certain whom it should be. I am his brother, yes, but you are his dear friend and  _why_ are you staring at me like that?!" He demanded to know, looking almost uncomfortable.

"Oh, honeybee." Jesse said, loving the sweet blush over Hanzo's high cheekbones, "I'm just glad to hear ya say we're together."

"What? Why? We are..together." Hanzo paused. "Correct?"

"Absolutely we are, sweetpea!" Jesse hurried to him, leaning over the bar to smile down at him as he took his hands in his, phone forgotten. "But I love hearin' ya say it." He crooned, pleased as punch his baby was on the same track with him. He lifted one of Hanzo's paler hands and kissed his calloused knuckles, wondering briefly how many other mouths they'd met and knocked teeth from. Sexy. "Why don't we tell 'em together?"

"Do you think that would be best?" The worried crease was back between his brow and Jesse burned to kiss it away. "I do not want for him to feel..'ganged up on'." Hanzo bit his lower lip gently and Jesse leaned forward to kiss it better. Hanzo's eyes flicked uncertainly toward the door before meeting his lips, seemingly alright with being captured kissing a cowboy in a pink apron.

"Baby, I dunno why you're so worried. Genji's gonna be so damn happy for us." Jesse cooed and Hanzo seemed to relax a bit. 

"Do you truly believe so? I do not wish for him to think I am taking his best friend.." Hanzo replied as Jesse kissed his other hands' knuckle and backed away to resume his cooking. "It is not as though we are..being secretive. We have only shared a few moments together, a handful of kisses, and of course we will tell Winston-"

"We will?" Jesse asked, looking over his shoulder at him as he poured batter into a pan.

"Yes! Of course we will. Our Commander needs to know what is happening with his subordinates. He may wish to change our assignments." Hanzo huffed then snorted, causing Jesse to smile wide at the cute noise. "And therefore, I believe we should tell Genji first, immediately." He nodded. "Don't you agree?"

"Sure thing! Call 'em up and invite 'em to breakfast. I'll whip 'em up a smoothie." McCree was more than happy to agree, flipping bacon as he tried to remember where the machine was.

"No! This is..this is a serious conversation- a conversation that needs to take place somewhere he may shout or attack or..or.." Hanzo brow furrowed more the darker his thoughts became.

"Whoa there, darlin'." Jesse comforted him, voice sweet as he started piling their plates. "We'll tell 'em, alright? Let's enjoy our breakfast and each other and we'll schedule a time 'ta meet after." He settled the plates down on the counter, one in front of Hanzo and one next to it before moving to sit beside him; hip to hip. "Calm down, honey. It'll be fine, I promise."

Hanzo, seeming less than sure, still tucked into his pancakes with a hunger that made Jesse laugh.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" _You're riding the cowboy_!"

" _Genji, please I-_ "

"S _aving all those horses is difficult work, isn't it, brother_?"

_"Genji!"_

_"I bet all those squats you do in the morning have helped!"_

_"I swear to-"_

_"Does he wear the hat in bed? No, wait! Do you wear the hat-"_

_"You little shit!"_

McCree listened with growing concern at the brother's conversation, long since having given up on trying to follow the rapid Japanese. 

They'd met Genji after breakfast in the little herb garden Reinhardt, Satya, and Mei had lovingly planted. Hanzo and Genji had added their own growths and tended it frequently but the others would not be out to check until afternoon. When they'd gently broke the news that they'd began dating last night, Genji had remained stock still and unbelieving for a moment before he'd removed his the thick metal cover from his face. He had looked at Hanzo and asked, "Look into my eyes and say this again, brother." Which frightened McCree more than it should. Hanzo had done as asked, looking like a coiled tiger ready to run at any movement. McCree had sat quietly, holding Hanzo's hand as Genji looked between the two of them with an unreadable expression before he leapt up; startling the other Shimada into tumbling into a half crouched-half standing position in front of Jesse.

_Bless his heart_ , McCree thought as he studied him, _he wants to protect 'lil 'ol me._

Then he'd started this shit and now Jesse was confused.

"Hanzo and Jesse sitting in a tree," Genji began to sing in English and McCree grinned with understanding as he placed a comforting hand on Hanzo's shoulder. They both stood then, Jesse to stretch his knees out and Hanzo to grapple his brother bodily onto the ground to stop the singing. McCree chuckled as they tussled on the ground for a bit, watching them as he righted his hat and hooked his thumbs in his jean pockets. 

"Now listen!" Hanzo demanded after he'd pinned Genji against a boulder covered in moss, placed there for decoration, "We are going to tell Winston. You cannot tell anyone until we've finished speaking to him. Do you understand?"

Genji laughed, his vents releasing steam as he giggled.

"Genji!'

"Yes! I will not tell until you say I can." Genji finally huffed and Hanzo released him, moving back to stand with Jesse; fingers linking immediately with his flesh hand.

"You two really like each other." Genji grinned. "I knew it." He laughed. "I am glad for you." He moved to his feet, picking up his face plate from the soft grass. 

"If you hurt him, I will torture you with a thousand cuts." He threatened as he placed the cover back on with a soft click, voice suddenly serious; the mood somber.

Hanzo and Jesse exchanged glances, the gunslinger shrugging before they looked back to the cyborg.

"Which..which one of us are you threatening?" Hanzo asked, voice soft.

A beat of silence before Genji's reply.

 

"Both."


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These little love sick fools.  
> Finally together and now there's a mission, but someone has to stay behind.

"Darlin', please." 

 

"No."

 

"Not even for 'lil 'ol me?" McCree crooned, using his precious puppy eyes to stare down at the busy archer. 

Hanzo heaved a sigh, acting put out even as he scooped a fingertip full of cookie dough batter from the bowl and offered it up to Jesse's mouth.

Jesse's wide, warm, lovely-tasting mouth.

He watched the man grin, taking his fingertip between those slightly-chapped lips and sucking the dough right off. Hanzo was fairly certain his lungs were paralyzed.

 

"Mm! Oh yeah, them cookies gonna be delicious, baby." Jesse grinned as he pulled away, leaning in. "Just like you."

 

The mortification caused by that statement knocked Hanzo out of his state as he glanced back at the mostly empty kitchen. 

They'd been together a week now and the other's had known for four of those days. It would not be a surprise for the other's to see Jesse kissing Hanzo, perhaps, but sucking his finger? 

That was a more private matter that had yet to even remotely breech.

 

"You alright there, hun?" Jesse asked with a crooked smile. "Han, hun." 

 

"I am..well. I was simply thinking." Hanzo replied as he began carefully shaping the dough into cookie cutters.

 

"You do too much of that for yer own good." Jesse chuckled and Hanzo could not disagree with him overly much. "Look, I'm pleased as punch. I hope I make you feel about even as quarter as happy as I feel for you, sugar." He winked. 'My little boyfriend."

 

Hanzo considered what an odd title that was for their age. Men nearing forty, ruthless criminals and killers both, and yet they were  _boyfriends._

_Dating._

Hanzo did not know how to do any of these things. Jesse, with nearly the same lack of experience, had his shameless ways to help him. He nuzzled Hanzo's cheek softly, his beard burning and tickling at once until the archer turned his head to capture a kiss. Even the smallest manner of affection had Jesse lighting up like the sun and really, Hanzo was no better. He was, after all, baking an extra batch just for Jesse in secret.

 

"Oh. Second." McCree started, informing Hanzo before he placed his fingers to the comm in his ears and listened. "McCree here." Hanzo shivered to the thick drawl of his name. There was a beat of silence as Hanzo continued his careful work and McCree listened. "Portugal? Mhmm." He reached for a cigar in his pocket, side-glancing at Hanzo. "Who else is on the team?"

Hanzo quietly placed his cookies in to bake and began a second batch, already accepting what was happening.

 

"Right then. If'n you need me, I guess I'm there.' McCree replied, nodding to himself. "Four hours. Got it, boss." Jesse removed his fingers and turned to the archer, all big eyes and sad smiles for a different reason.

 

"You have a mission." Hanzo decided to jump to the point. "I do not. You must go."

 

"I don't wanna, but there's some suspicious activity that looks mighty Talon-like." Jesse explained gently and Hanzo nodded, looking to ensure the kitchen was clear now before he placed his hands flat upon Jesse's chest. He wore only his shirt now, no serape or chestplate, and Hanzo could feel the heat of him and the beat of his heart through the flannel material. 

 

"Be careful." Hanzo said softly as he studied his face, moving a hand up to stroke over his hirsute jaw. 

 

"You gonna miss me?" Jesse asked even as he leaned in, resting his forehead to the archer's, closing his eyes as Hanzo nodded. "I'll call and message you when I can." Another nod from the paler man. "I'm gonna miss you so damn much, sugarpea." He whispered before he leaned in and they kissed.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Hanzo turned off the treadmill, panting heavily as he paused to check his phone. Finding nothing new, he replaced it in his pocket and moved to towel off.

 

Unlike Jesse's last mission, the one just before they had began seeing one another, Jesse did not require radio silence. They could be in contact throughout the mission so long as Jesse was not on recon.

Today Jesse was on recon and Hanzo was nervous.

 

He knew Jesse was skilled, of course; trusted him with his life and even more so, with his heart. No, Hanzo's feeling was something else. A dread settling like rot low in his gut and making him restless; filling him with an insecurity that he could not mask. And so, he attempted to sweat it out.

 

"Man, I miss Jesse." Lucio announced suddenly from his position near the row of dumbbells. He was smiling at Hanzo. "Forgot how mean and scary your face was when you wasn't smilin' at him." He winked, joking though it took the archer a moment to realize he was being teased and not mocked.

 

"Yes..I will.work on that." Hanzo tried to humor him. "It is an affliction since birth, however."

 

Lucio snorted.

 

"If you miss him so much, why don't you like, you know, nest?" Lucio asked and Hanzo eyed in confusion. The DJ stood, stretching as he approached. "Well, don't act like I'm crazy but you're a dragon right? And dragons make nest." Hanzo opened his mouth to protest, to call him foolish, but Lucio continued on. "I'm sayin' that normal humans like to, you know, have something of their beau's to keep close with 'em." He gestured. 'I figured a dragon might want something, too." He shrugged. "Make like a shirt. Girls steal sweaters like crazy, you know." He smiled, moving to pass him. "Either way, if you wanna do a little dragon-action, I think that's cool."

 

Hanzo watched him go, all thought's concentrated on one question.

 

Does McCree own any sweaters?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~```

 

When Jesse did call in later that night, much later than midnight and woke Hanzo from a light slumber, he did not find him in a sweater.

 

"Baby!" Jesse guffawed before laughing, a grin spreading over his cheeks and disappearing into his beard. "That's my serape!"

 

"One of them." Hanzo replied after a yawn, giving the cowboy a look that said 'I dare you.'. "I had not realized you had an entire closet of them." He raised a brow at Jesse. "So this one is mine now."

 

"Baby, you look so good in blue." McCree said eagerly, like a dog with a bone, "you can have it." He then winked. "Maybe you'll wear _just_ it for me sometime."

 

Hanzo rolled his eyes, flushing despite it; feeling playful as he gestured to his wrapped shoulders.

"How do you know I am wearing anything but it right now?"

 

"Oh baby, you're killin' me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some playful flirting between the two.   
> Might have a bit of NSFW next chapter. READY YOURSELVES


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse feels like he makes a fool of himself with Hanzo.  
> Maybe that’s just how love goes.

McCree wouldn’t consider himself a foolish man. Sure, he played the fool when needed, especially during missions; a tactic Gabriel Reyes had used often. He would send in the bumbling cowboy and once everyone had their laugh and gave up the information, the dumb cowboy would reveal himself to be quite the opposite.

But boy did Hanzo cause him to act like a fool.

When McCree had returned from his mission at four in the morning on a cold autumn night, reeking of sweat, he had expected to go to his room, shower, and drop into a deep sleep. He did not expect Hanzo to be waiting for him at the hangar bay where he docked.

“Jesse.” Hanzo all but cooed as he moved toward McCree in a oversized tank top and some sweats, his hair down in rich waves over his shoulders. “You are unharmed?”

McCree’s brain stopped working then, finding a dead end at the rich chocolate of the archer’s eyes. He was stunning, absolutely so, and McCree’s mouth opened before his brain realized it.

“Gorgeous.” Jesse blurted, his face turning red as quickly as Hanzo’s did. He reached up to tip his hat over his eyes, hiding beneath the brim as he murmured a soft curse in Spanish.

Then Hanzo’s hands were on his serape, fingers curling into the fabric and tugging him gently until Jesse looked up.

“Fool.” Hanzo replied with a smirk as he leaned in. Jesse didn’t necessarily lean out but he did not meet him.

“Darlin’, I smell a might ripe-“ Jesse attempted to warn him but closed his mouth as Hanzo leaned in fully and kissed him. Their beards rubbed together, burning and tickling at once as Hanzo coaxed little kisses from him.

“Come.” Hanzo interrupted their wonderful kissing session to command. “A meal and a shower.”

“Together?” Jesse asked hopefully, cheekily.

Hanzo rolled his eyes but linked their fingers and led him into the watchpoint.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The second time Hanzo made him feel foolish was barely even two days after, when he’d walked into the gym and seen the archer taking a brush to his hair after a refreshing shower.

“Wait up. Let me brush your hair, baby?” Jesse crooned as he came up beside him, reaching to wrap his fingers around Hanzo’s wrist. The archer turned to him, gazing up at the cowboy as though he were delighted to see him. The slight smile on his lips made McCree’s stomach flip-flop.

“It’s becoming long. I will need to cut it soon.” Hanzo said, handing the brush to Jesse and sitting perfectly still as the cowboy began to gently comb through slightly damp, thick hair.

“Baby, I love your hair. I’d give anythin’ to see it even longer.” Jesse almost whines as he worked, lifting the inky strands with his mechanical hand to smell them, his mouth opening without consulting his brain first yet again.

“I’d brush it for ya after ya get out of the shower, like now.” He teased the strands, “I’d learn to braid just so I could touch it all the time. Mmhm, can tell you like it, too, by your little shudders.” Hanzo chuckled softly as he tipped his head further back. “Goddamn, baby.”

“Hmm..” Hanzo hummed. “I did have quite long hair once, but it has been many years ago and not by my choice.” He turned to look at Jesse then and the cowboys heart swelled up like a balloon in his chest. “Perhaps, for you, I will consider it.”

Jesse grinned, tickled pink and delighted as he leaned down to kiss him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The third time Jesse made a fool of himself because of Hanzo marked fifteen days of dating.

McCree would consider it a blessing if he made it another two weeks at this rate.

They’d been lying on the community sofa in one of the recreational rooms, Hanzo and him, with the archer leaning his back against Jesse as a support while they watched some decent scary flick. Jesse had felt content with the smaller man in his arms, all warm and snuggled in and curled up in comfort. And his brain, in its state of mushy infatuation, somehow managed an idea..

“Let me take ya on a date.” He said abruptly and Hanzo turned his head to peer back at him. “A real date, ya know. A real one. Like dinner with candles and-“ he waved his mechanical hand which had been sitting on the slender line of Hanzo’s waist. “You know, all the real stuff.”

Hanzo seemed to be considering him closely before he sat forward. Jesse’s heart sank, thinking he’d totally screwed up when the archer turned and slid into his lap as though it were one of his kata’s and he practiced it everyday. Jesse gripped his hips on instinct as Hanzo straddled him down into the corner of the couch, heart kicking into overdrive as he, for once, looked up to the archer.

“I would be honored.” Hanzo murmured softly as he leaned in for a kiss, pressing harder against McCrees lips and seeking entry to his mouth. Here’s where the cowboys brain wandered off to do fuck-all while he made out with the beautiful man on his lap.

Why else would he interrupt the moment to say something stupid?

“Honeybee,” he breathed against his lips as Hanzo collected his flesh hand and brought it under his shirt, allowing him to feel his hot abdomen. “Darlin’, baby, sweetheart,” He crooned as he was led to a handful of tattooed pectoral. “Wait, hold on, honey.”

Hanzo stilled above him and McCree kicked himself as he spoke.

“You’re real special to me. I don’t wanna-“ he started to say, covering his face with his left hand as he tilted his head back, groaning at himself. “I don’t wanna rush ya.” He peeked between his fingers at the archer then and found him wearing a slight smile.

“Is..is that alright? I just..” Jesse removed his hand and made sure to hold eye contact with the unflinchingly solid stare of the archer. “I don’t wanna fuck this up. You mean too much to me.”

Then Hanzo’s face had softened as his body relaxed, leaning forward and against Jesse’s sturdy torso as he pressed a new kiss to his lips.

“As you do to me.” Hanzo whispered and McCree couldn’t say which one of them had pressed their foreheads together as they breathed each other’s air and shared a gaze far too loving to be anything but just that.

Love.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanzo gets temporarily disabled during a mission.  
> He and McCree have a very serious conversation.  
> McCree loves him some cuddles.

The shrill, wicked ringing of his ears continued even as he grabbed his head and applied pressure. He was disoriented and trying to recover quickly, as he had been taught.

 

"Brother!" was the first word Hanzo heard when the tinnitus subsided enough to allow another noise. Genji was calling for him, the sound of metal rubble being searched and tossed aside.

 

"Here." He called softly, voice raw and sore; finding it hard to swallow but forcing himself to do so before he called again, louder. "Here!"

 

"He's over here!" Genji shouted to someone and Hanzo heard him sliding down what remained of the building the archer had been standing on. 

 

Hanzo looked down, assessing himself quickly. He was battered and perhaps a few ribs were broken, but he appeared otherwise healthy. Well, every flesh part of him seemed healthy.

He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against some broken scaffolding as he recalled what had happened.

 

Vishkar. There had been drones as well as their impressive number of fighters. They'd come to help the city as it was being captured and had found themselves in a war against many, many turrets. Hanzo's job had been drones, of course, and he had handled it impressively for quite some time until a Vishkar sniper had spotted him. He had moved positions for better coverage and found a very small drone careening toward him from below. It was a very small bomb.

Foolish. He should have seen it coming.

 

"Brother! Are you hurt? Hanzo?" Genji called to him as he found him, tossing aside a piece of sheet rock that must weigh four times Hanzo's own weight. "Han-"

 

"I am fine." Hanzo grunted from where he leaned, "physically at least." He gestured to his legs with the hand that still held Stormbow, "My legs did not fair so well."

 

The bomb-drone coming upon him so suddenly had forced Hanzo to react quickly, least he lose his life. With more instinct than thought, he had leapt and kicked the drone into the building where he had been standing seconds before, then began to fall. It had detonated however, blasting Hanzo to relative safety and leveling the compound. It appeared the blast had also taken a considerable chunk out of his right prosthetic calf, leaving the left smoking and bent awkwardly.   

 

"We will repair them. I am only glad you are safe." Genji replied and only then did Hanzo notice there had been a tremor in his voice before. He looked to his brother and found himself being grabbed by his shoulder and drug out of the rubble. Unable to stand, he looked at Genji with a quirked brow as the cyborg knelt down before him with his back displayed.

 

"Come on." Genji encouraged, glancing back at him.

 

"I would rather die." 

 

"Hanzo! You can't walk. There is no shame in being carried-"

 

"By my younger brother." Hanzo snorted, shaking his head.

 

"You carried me like this when we were boys." Genji replied and Hanzo couldn't help a small smile as the memory warmed his heart. "Let me carry you, just this once." 

 

Hanzo agonized for a moment over the decision before he heaved a sigh and threw himself upon Genji's back. He was cold to the touch and caused the archer to shiver as his bare chest made contact with the cold metal. He looped his arms around his brother's neck and Genji lifted, his hands supporting the bottom of Hanzo's thighs as he climbed out of the debris and headed toward the transport.

 

Their journey would not be far, however, as a distinct  _cling cling cling cling cling_ sounded. And it was getting closer by the sounds of it.

 

"Hanz-" McCree called as he rounded a blind corner, blood splattered his face and neck, sticky in his beard as his face morphed to relief and then concern almost instantly.

 

"I am fine." Hanzo said even as the cowboy hurried to his side. Genji paused for them to have a moment and Hanzo flushed with mortification. His legs were unusable, his baby brother was carrying him like a child, and now his lover was seeing all of it while his brother listened. Surely he was meant to die in the explosion; it would have been kinder. 

 

"Baby, oh babydoll. Sugarpea. You're okay? Ya alrght?" McCree was stroking his hands over Hanzo's body, rough glove and smooth metal half groping over his person and he swatted at the cowboy with one arm. 

 

"We are going to Angela." Genji said as he began walking again for which Hanzo was thankful even as the cowboy trailed beside him. He looked at him like he was precious and fragile, touching the archer's hair and back as if to assure himself he was well. 

 

Hanzo, despite himself, shared a small smile with the cowboy and offered him his hand, which Jesse took in his own and kissed.

 

"There's enough gay on my back. Save it for later." Genji announced and Hanzo ducked his head in embarrassment as Jesse laughed.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You cannot be serious." 

 

"C'mon, honey." McCree crooned from beside his hospital bed, cradling his hand between his own as he leaned forward; elbows resting on his knees. "It's just for a coupa'la days and then Torb'll have 'em all fixed up for ya." He leaned in and kissed his hands. "So stay with me, just for that 'lil bit of time. I can take care of you." 

 

"I do not need taken care of." Hanzo said without an ounce of confidence. He could manage on his own of course, but everything was considerably harder without his lower limbs. Even utilizing a wheelchair would still leave him climbing in and out of it for the bath, bed, food, etc. He couldn't even reach his hotplate to make tea.

 

"I know, Han. I know you don't. Look at you; you're the goddamn best." Jesse persisted and Hanzo felt a pang of love strike him, squeezing the cowboy's hand. "But let me? Please? I won't invade on ya, or anythin'. You tell me when you want help and I'm there." He nodded. "Wouldn't ya wanna do the same for me if I was down?"

 

"That is not fair." Hanzo replied, positively pouting and Jesse brought the archer's hand up to rest it upon his scruffy cheek. 

 

"No one ever said love was fair, hon." McCree said and Hanzo felt his heart leap at the word. Love. They hadn't said it yet, not to each other anyhow; something they danced around saying. Perhaps they were both waiting for the other or were afraid. Hanzo was certain it was too soon and would send the wandering outlaw dashing for the airport.

 

"Fine. But we will stay in my quarters." Hanzo relented with a soft sigh.

 

"Sure. Sure." Jesse keened, grinning wide and happy. Hanzo felt weak in his knees for more reason than total lack of supporting bone beneath them. "Anything you want, Han. I'm your man."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Mmmm." 

 

"Honestly? Same." Jesse sighed softly as he stroked his hand though Hanzo's long hair, the other resting warm and heavy on the archer's back. 

 

They lie together in Hanzo's room, curled into one another's embrace upon his bed with Jesse acting largely as a pillow for his wounded lover. Once Hanzo had been discharged from Mercy's care and his legs given to Torbjörn with detailed instructions, they had retired back to Hanzo's room. Jesse had switched his cowboy gear for comfy sweat pants and a soft cotton tee, while Hanzo lounged in his casual hakama and a gi. What made them casual and other's not, McCree didn't really know.

 

"Jesse." Hanzo sighed against his chest, causing McCree to crack open his eyes from where he was dozing. "We need to discuss something..serious. Important."

 

"Yeah, darlin'?" Jesse asked, ignoring the sudden tight feeling in his stomach as his heart beat kicked up. 

 

"I..It is very important and I need.." Hanzo started and stopped, so unlike himself. "I need you to stay silent and just listen while I speak."

 

Jesse, not sure if that included now, nodded his understanding.

 

And then Hanzo was silent for a few minutes and Jesse was sure he could feel the rapid staccato of his heart from where his cheek rested. 

 

"You are the only man I have been with." He finally said and Jesse's brain locked up as he tried to process his words, but Hanzo continued. "I mean, we haven't  _been with_ one another, but I..Well.. soon, we will have  _been with_ most likely and I do not want you ill-prepared."

 

McCree's brain was firing on all cylinders. Hanzo was a virgin?! This beautiful man?! Jesse's brain couldn't compute.

 

"I am not a virgin." Hanzo informed him, confusing the cowboy even further as his mouth opened to ask a question before clicking it closed again. Hanzo kept his cheek pressed firmly to Jesse's chest, hiding. "I have simply never been with another man." He let out a heavy sigh and Jesse couldn't help but to run his fingers through his hair affectionately. "With the gumi..with my clan, my every moment was scheduled; every meeting made to make the Shimada's an empire." He moved slightly, pressing a kiss to McCree's covered chest. "I was not allowed to waste my time with men." 

 

Jesse's heart ached as he felt how tense Hanzo was, tucking him into a tight embrace as the archer fell silent for a moment.

 

"I was given women..for..practice. The clan would find me a suitable woman; we would marry and I would give her children. Another man could not give me children so it was not allowed." Hanzo finally finished, lifting his head up to peek at his engrossed lover. "I believe it only right to be forward with you. If our relationship continues into a sexual nature then you deserve to know.

 

"What about after-" Jesse started to question and Hanzo cut him off with a hard glare.

 

"After I nearly killed Genji?" Hanzo finished for him, hurt covering his expression now as he looked away, his hand rubbing apologetic circles into McCree's flank. "No. I could not allow myself to experience pleasure or joy while my own brother lay dead at my hands. I deserved nothing; no one, and would not allow myself to be involved with another." Hanzo colored prettily then, pink reaching all the way up to his ears. "Which is..my other confession." He looked back to Jesse then, meeting his gaze. "I have not had sex for nearly a decade." He announced, shifting slightly as Jesse's lower jaw fell open. "I am..uncertain." He ducked his head then, burying his face against the cowboy's chest once again.

 

"That's alright then." McCree said almost immediately, prompting the archer to look up at him incredulously. "What? I mean it. Listen, Han." Jesse reached up and cupped the archer's cheek, tracing the fine line of his facial hair with his thumb. "When we get to that point, I'm gonna treat you right." His mouth formed into an easy smile. "I'm gonna take care of you; gonna help you feel comfortable and safe 'fore I do anythin', alright?" He leaned in and kissed the archer's mouth closed, knocking his nose to his gently. "Thank you for tellin' me. I feel mighty honored knowin' I'm the one you chose to let yourself be happy with."

 

"Foolish." Hanzo barely said before he pressed his lips to Jesse's, strong hands gripping the cowboy's flank as he wrestled him down into the bed to kiss him harder; deeper. "Jesse." He whispered wet and hot into his mouth before their tongues met again. Then he was pulling away suddenly and Jesse was frowning up at him like a dog that had lost its bone.

 

"This must go slow." Hanzo said even as he wiped the saliva off his lips with his thumb. "A pace I set." He nodded to himself. "Do you agree?"

 

"I do." McCree said almost over top of Hanzo's words, so eager. "I always will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of this is head canon stuff for myself  
> I know others don’t enjoy Hanzo with prostethic legs but it’s my story so I’m gonna let myself have it.  
> I promise they won’t be mentioned again, however.  
> Likewise Hanzo forced himself with banishment for ten years. Why wouldn’t he include celibacy in that?  
> Hope you enjoyed it all the same!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s so much fluff. The guys are so sweet on each other.  
> Good movies and bad pizza make great dates.  
> And sometimes they forget they’re mercenaries with missions.

McCree rolled over on his side delicately, seeking to spoon up to the warm, muscled weight of his man and opened his eyes when he found the space empty. He listened in the quiet of the early morning and, recognizing the silence, he accepted Hanzo must have left already.

He smiled to himself, collecting Hanzo’s pillow under his arm and curling it up to inhale the scent of mint and electricity that Hanzo always left behind. After Hanzo had been given a clean bill of health and they no longer needed to share the archers room, Jesse had still come to his room at night. It simply seemed like habit now, holding the other close and sharing sleepy kisses. Hanzo hadn’t refused McCree from his room yet so he wasn't one to question a good thing.

Jesse sat up, stretched himself until everything popped and then fetched the folded clothing Hanzo had set on the armoire for him. His hat sat atop the pile and he reached for it with a familiar ease, only to grin as he found a small origami crane, violent in color, nesting in the crease at the top.

Hanzo sure wasn’t great at expressing his feelings with words, but this right here is how Jesse knew he was loved by the tiny dragon man.

He hopped in the shower and right back out in a handful of minutes before getting dressed and heading directly to the cafeteria.

“G’mornin’, sweetheart!” McCree cheered as he rounded the doorway to the room, being met with laughter from Mei, Hana, and Satya, who all sat with Hanzo enjoying tea. The archer had the decency to blush as he smiled Jesse behind the rim of his tea cup.

“I suppose it would be best if we left them alone.” Satya said in usual cool voice, regal as she slipped from her chair.

“Yeah. I don’t wanna see my new uncles sucking face.” Hana made a disgusted face.

“I think it is very sweet.” Mei gushed, smiling at them both. “To find love right here at home..” she sighed dreamily and Hanzo ducked his head to hide his blush as McCree tipped his hat; the ladies departing together.

“Sorry I slept so late.” McCree told Hanzo immediately, moving to the stove as he set his hat on the counter. “You must be starvin’. Whatca thinking for breakfast?” He asked as he turned to look at Hanzo.

But Hanzo was there already beside him, picking up his hat and placing it back onto the cowboys head.

“Let’s get pizza.” Hanzo declared with a playful smile, smoothing his hand over the expanse of Jesse’s bare forearm. “And watch a movie.” He shrugged at Jesse’s shocked locked. “Pretend to be a normal couple. Cuddle.”

“Holy shit.” Jesse blurted, causing Hanzo to laugh. “Sorry. I mean, yeah sorry but that sounds awesome.” He swooped down and planted a kiss on Hanzo’s cheek. “Yer killin’ me, sweetheart. Can’t be more perfect.”

“What if I let you watch a Western?” Hanzo countered and Jesse removed his hat to fan himself before feigning a collapse; leaving Hanzo’s rich laughter bounding about the room and straight through his heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You’re more handsome than him.” Hanzo announced a quarter way through The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.

“Why thank ya, sugar.” Jesse preened, stroking his hand over Hanzo’s tattoo before reaching down to link their fingers. “Eastwood was my first crush.”

“Truly?” Hanzo mused as he leaned against the warmth of Jesse’s chest, legs curled beneath a blanket. “He is so unlike me.” He nudged him with his elbow.

“Ha, well now, I wasn’t really attracted to his face, so much as the whole raw masculine, could and would kick my ass thing.” McCree rumbled a reply against his back, his chin resting just above the crown of his head. “And you can certainly do that, sugar.”

“Mm, and don’t you forget it.” The archer replied before stretching lazily, turning to drap himself like a cat over McCrees lap. The cowboy, in turn, plucked at the scarf in his hair, asking permission. Hanzo reached up and plucked it free, his hair falling loose and dark like oil over his shoulders; Jesse’s hand in it in mere seconds to pet at him even as Hanzo used Jesse lap as a plate for his (like ninth) piece of pizza.

They managed another third of the movie before Lena zipped in the room, dressed in her gear and battle-ready.

“Loves! There you are! Winston’s been callin’ your com, Hanzo! We’ve got a mission!” She explained in her chipper voice as Hanzo sat up and mused his hair back.

“Sorry ‘bout that. I might’a kept him away.” Jesse said as he muted the movie. Hanzo got to his feet and tied his hair back up properly.

“Winston wants to do a briefing right away and then head out so get your gear, or Bob’s your uncle!” Lena finger gunned at them. “Now I’m goin’ for a slash ‘fore I get back to the big guy. Don’t want him getting all crackers. Bye!” She zipped away.

“Girl is sweet as pie, but sometimes I don’t understand what the hell she says.” Jesse muttered. Hanzo stood and Jesse took his hand.

“Guess I’ll be seeing you at the docking bay soon.” Jesse said mournfully and Hanzo squeezed his hand while his other stroked over the cowboys scruffy cheek.

“We will pick this up later.” The archer promised before he slipped from his hold and headed to his quarters to prepare.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hanzo couldn’t help the twisted feeling in his stomach; like he ate too much wasabi and then tried to quell it with sake.

He stood in front of the docking bay with Lena, Ana, and Hana as they packed up their things into the transport. McCree was heading toward him, he knew, and he would expect some answers.

“You be safe now, Han.” Jesse said as he saddled up in front of him, casting look at the others that had them hurrying to leave the two alone.

“Jesse.” Hanzo said, pausing before he offered his hand. Jesse took it with a smile before raising a brow at the material between their palms. Hanzo’s hair scarf, gold and blue and beautiful silk, was folded neatly against his palm. Jesse looked up, just noticing it was missing.

“This mission is an...in depth one.” Hanzo said as he pressed the material into palm. “I will be gone for some time, most likely.” He curled McCree’s big fingers over his precious scarf and leaned in for a kiss; one which Jesse returned with vigor.

“Yeah. Yeah, sure. We talkin’ like..a few weeks or..?” Jesse asked, regretting it immediately at the pained look at his handsome lovers face. He gripped the scarf tightly.

“Perhaps a few months.” The archer said evenly, though his eyes seemed darker than usual. Jesse nodded however, before leaning in to press a kiss to his brow.

“Will you be able to contact me?” McCree asked again.

“I hope. We will not be certain of the conditions until arrival.”

“Yeah, okay. I understand.” Jesse swallowed hard before he replied and then reached up to stroke his metal digits over the archers cheek, tracing the finely manicured line of his beard to rest against his lower lip; tugging it gently to make his mouth open for a flash of teeth and tongue. Goddamit but he was so beautiful. “You do your best to come back to me?”

_I love you. I love you. I love you._

“My utmost.” Hanzo replied a bit shakily as he kissed his thumb. He leaned in then, arms winding about McCree’s shoulders to pull him down for a deep kiss. Neither could say the words but there were other ways of expressing their love.

McCree groaned audibly as Hanzo’s strong fingers sunk into his hair and scratched at his scalp; their tongues as needy as they felt as they battled within and outside of their mouths. Then Hanzo whimpered and Jesse’s knees could’ve absolutely buckled just as the man pulled away.

“I must go. Take care, Jesse.” Hanzo said solemnly before nodding, turning as he lifted his pack and slung it over his shoulder as he climbed into the transport.

Jesse McCree stood there and watched as the transport lifted away and off into the sinking sun; his heart going with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like my story, please tell me so! Kudos and comments are so very appreciated! You find me over at tumblr with the same name as well!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Genji and Jesse are best friends and Jesse sure appreciates the support while Hanzo is away.  
> A nice video-chat can turn kind of risque if you're Jesse McCree.  
> Hanzo is a little shit who thinks he's hilarious.

"You're taking this all better than I had hoped." 

 

"Not 'cause I wanna, Genj, but 'cause what other choice do I got?" McCree groused, all but pouting as he tossed the baseball up in the air, only to catch it once again.

 

"You could always lock yourself away and refuse food." Genji joked beside him, sitting with legs tucked beneath him on the couch as he faced the cowboy. With no faceplate and clothing that he suspected was actually Lucio's, the cyborg looked comfortable.

 

"I ain't never been that melodramatic." Jesse sighed as he tossed the ball again. "I dunno, Gen. I tried shootin', singin', playin' some tunes, and a 'lil bit of drinkin' but nothin' but sleep gives me any kind of peace." He ran a hand over his face after catching the ball. "Life don't seem so excitin' since he left."

 

"He did not  _leave._ " Genji pointed out. "He was dispatched on a mission and, as a member of Overwatch, I would think you could understand that." Genji said, humming slightly before releasing steam from his vents.

 

"I know, but we ain't talked in two weeks." Jesse chewed his lower lip, fiddling the ball between his hands as he stared blankly at his lap. "Not since he left. I dunno if they even made it."

 

"Of course they did." Genji jabbed him softly in the knee, gathering his attention. "They're the A-team."

 

"The A-team?" Jesse chuckled unexpectedly, "well now, I didn't reckon you'd ever seen such an old show."

 

"What show?" Genji asked, brow wrinkling in confusion. "I was talking about their names." At McCree's sudden glazed eyes, he explained. "Ana, Hana, Hanzo, and Lena." He wiggled four metal digits at Jesse. "They all possess the letter A within their names."

 

"Well..fuck.." He sighed before nodding. "Guess you got a point and I know Ana will take care of Han for me." He shrugged. "Just harder now. Wouldn't be so bad if I'd heard from him or if I was on a mission too, but can't even get that lucky."

 

Genji studied him quietly, his hands resting on each knee as he cocked his head slightly to the left.

 

"You haven't told him you love him yet." 

 

"Jesus, Genj!" Jesse shot up at the statement, not a question at all, and began pacing the three feet in front of the coffee table. "'Course I haven't. We only been together a few months and your brother is like to spook easy." He gestured dramatically with his left arm. "Like a fuckin' comic. I say I love 'em and then the scene cuts to him flyin' away on his dragons into the sunset." He snorted. "I've messed up a ton of good things in my life-and I mean that in both the literal and figurative sense, and I ain't fuckin' this up, too." 

 

"What if he needs you to say it?" Genji asked as he turned to look at the cowboy, watching the color drain from his darkened skin as his eyes widened. "What if..he wishes to say it but won't say it first because of the same fear?" He nodded as McCree sat down, looking shook. "One of you must be brave for the other. If the confession is rejected then you can only say you gave it your everything." He reached forward to pat McCree's knee. "I know you would do that for my brother."

 

"You're a son'va'bitch, you know that right, Genji?" Jesse said quietly after a moment of silence, glaring dispassionately at his old friend. "Usin' the 'love my big brother' card on me. I thought we was friends."

 

"We are." Genji laughed softly, the sound carrying an undercurrent of mechanical mechanisms. "But I would like to be brothers and you and Hanzo are getting very old."

 

"Old?!" Jesse pounced at Genji then, earning more laughter as he picked him up and wrestled him down; tickling the only flesh underarm he had as the couch fell backwards under their combined weight.

 

Angela had walked in just then, seeking a snack from the joined kitchen. Upon seeing them behaving like children, she sighed and turned to go back to her lab; muttering "I'm not cleaning that mess up." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Jesse smoothed his hair back nervously, running his flesh fingers through the slightly curling locks; damp from his recent shower. He checked his shirt collar once more before sitting down on the edge of the bed. He arranged the pillows comfortably, propping them up and fluffing them before he laid back to rest upon them.

 

The team had established contact finally. Five weeks after departing and they'd finally been able to procure a hide-out with real connection to the net. The youngest and the oldest had called together to inform Winston of their process and say hello, McCree had been told, before handing the small tablet they were using around to the other members to use as well.

 

Jesse couldn't believe he'd been asleep during it all; knocked out deep in rest from working himself to the bone in the gym. He wanted to look nice when Hanzo came back. He reached into his shirt pocket and carefully removed the slip of paper there, reading over the words scrawled there. Genji's handwriting was shit (not surprising for a man learning to write again at nearly thirty), but the message was clear enough. 

 

_Call tonight. 15:00 your time_

_Hanzo_

 

He clutched the paper to his chest, feeling like a love sick fool as he imagined Hanzo's beautiful face. He tucked it back into his pocket and sat up a little straighter before checking the time and placing a call on his own Overwatch issued tablet.

 

It barely rang once before the sounded muted, a soft pop of static, and then Hanzo was there.

 

_Hanzo_

 

"Gorgeous." Jesse said instead of greeting him, spouting off the first word in his head as usual. Hanzo blushed prettily all the way up to the tips of his ears. 

 

"Hello, Jesse." the archer replied and McCree placed his free hand over his heart, closed his eyes, and let his head drop back against the pillows. "What is wrong?" Hanzo then asked, sounding concerned and suspicious.

 

"The way you say my name, sweetheart." Jesse literally  _whined_ as he lifted his head back up to look at the angel on the tablet screen. "You're the goddamn best."

 

"Jesse.." Hanzo sighed, the flush remaining and deepening on his cheeks. "I have missed you as well." 

 

Jesse watched as Hanzo brought up his index and middle finger and his thumb, gently brushing them against the tablet where Jesse's face would be. His heart clenched with utter joy and adoration.

 

"Baby, there's somethin' I just gotta tell you."McCree said as he pressed his fingers to the screen to match Hanzo's. "I l-"

 

"Wait." Hanzo said quickly, cutting him off before he smiled apologetically. "Not..not yet."

 

Jesse was crestfallen for only a second before Hanzo corrected.

 

"Tell me..." He paused before looking into Jesse's eyes. Even with the screen and thousand's of miles between them, the cowboy felt their delicious bite. "Tell me when I return." Jesse watched with aching accuracy (thanks to his Deadeye) as Hanzo tucked the corner of his lower lip between his teeth; watching a pointy canine press the fullness down and then release it to a renewed plump. "So that I might thank you properly." The dark glimmer of his eyes lead for no misunderstanding. Hanzo was talking about moving their relationship forward in a sexual nature and Jesse fought not to whoop for joy.

 

"Yeah..yeah, babydoll. That sounds amazin'." Jesse drawled, voice lower than before as he licked his lips; eyes straying everywhere over the man's face. "Gonna wait. You come home and I'll make sure ya  _feel_ the meanin' of my words." He raised his eyebrows, trying to look further down Hanzo's throat suddenly. "You wearin' no shirt?"

 

"It is very late here and I am going to bed soon." Hanzo answered with a slight smirk, all smugness and understanding as he tilted the tablet down some to show the full expanse of his chest.

 

Jesse had never been more thirsty.

He grew up in the desert.

 

"And what about you, Jesse?" Hanzo asked, his voice forcing McCree to pry his eyes away and back to the archer's face. Lines of amusement started around his lips and his eyes shimmered as he stroked the fine line of his goatee. "You've combed your hair and are wearing a proper shirt." He smiled. "Is this for me?"

 

"Well yeah. I wanted 'ta look nice for ya! Since we ain't seen each other in a bit of time." The cowboy replied with a swell of pride, nodding as he flashed him a wide, easy smile.

 

"Mm, thank you then." Hanzo said before nodding. "Show me the whole outfit."

 

"Uh.." Jesse paused, looking down at himself before he grinned sheepishly at his beloved. "I'm not wearin' pants."

 

At Hanzo's bouyant laughter, Jesse attempted to explain:

 

"It's a call! I figured ya wouldn't be seein' below the belt and pants weren't required!" McCree couldn't help himself, laughing alongside the portrait of perfection on his screen.

 

Hanzo stopped laughing all at once; his face becoming incredibly somber and even a bit upset, surprising Jesse.

 

"And what if I wanted to see below the belt?" 

 

At Jesse's impression of a gaping fish fresh to land trying to get back to water, Hanzo laughed again and Jesse's heart filled with love.

 

Soon, he was going to tell him, and then he was going to show him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter! The next chapter is going to be smut. Not 100% of course but still there.  
> If a majority of readers comment they aren't comfortable with that, then I can submit a stand-alone chapter about it instead and in the next chapter here simply sort of "fade to black".  
> Let me know if you wanna read the sex! :)  
> And message/follow me on tumblr if you wanna chat!  
> poochiepies.tumblr.com


End file.
